Cycling Center/ Bio Racer Cycling Team To Race Tour de France

This just in:

Press Release:
June 30, 2006

In light of the recenent developments with Operation Puerto and the subsequent suspension of Jan "Thunder Thighs" Ulrich and Ivan "Italian Fur Back" Basso, as well as twenty other cyclists, the Cycling Center/ Bio Racer team based out of Hertsberge, Belgium has been invited to race in the 2006 Tour de France. The 93rd Tour de France promises to be an exciting afair and will involve 20 stages covering some 3,600 kilometres including nine flat stages, five mountain stages, four medium mountain stages and two individual time trials.

When asked why he choose the Cycling Center/Bio Racer team over other teams throughout the European continent, especially considering their amateur staus, Christian Prudhomme, the head of the Tour, said, "We chose them because they're clean. I mean seriously, have you seen their results? Have they even won a Kermis?" Prudhimme quickly did an about-face and commented on the future of the sport. "The Americans currently have an unheard of win to rider ratio in the Tour. I mean, recently they've had 10 wins with only about 10 riders total racing (ed. note: versus the 0 to 1000 win to rider ratio of French cycling) this is something we clearly cannot bear to live with. By inviting the Cycling Center/ Bio Racer team we will for sure change this ungodly ratio back to where it once was."

Prudhomme then added that he missed his mother, his poodle, and that he cries himself to sleep every night at the thought of another English speaking winner.